Through The Glass Darkly

It’s too late for my poor husbands, but let me spare you some of their grief, because in their search for that elusive metaphor, poets can be somewhat “eccentric.”

  1. If you date a poet, everyone will think you are the person they are writing about.
  2. You will be the person they are writing about. (unless you are not)
  3. There will be drama.
  4. There will be tea.
  5. There will probably be alcohol.
  6. There definitely will be coffee.
  7. They have deep conversations about Animals, Clouds, and Grecian Urns.
  8. There will be poetry hands.
  9. There will be bongos.
  10. There will be open mics.
  11. There will be books.
  12. There will be so many notebooks and sketch pads, some with only a few pages used then lost, then desperately searched for, then forgotten.
  13. There will be poetic license.
  14. There will be melancholy.
  15. There will be Christmas lights all year.
  16. There will be sage.
  17. They collect metaphors like they are more valuable than faberge eggs, because they are.
  18. They think children’s books are sublime, because they are unforgettable.
  19. They position their furniture around windows, for them to stare out of for hours at a time.
  20. Your parents will think they are possessed.
  21. They are possessed.
  22. You will lose all arguments, because you just will.
  23. They will secretly judge your grammar.
  24. They carry notebooks and books everywhere.
  25. They hoard pens.
  26. The library is their fortress of solitude.
  27. They are obsessed with incredibly depressing films and music.
  28. They listen to every single kind of music you can imagine, even Brazilian monkey howling.
  29. They keep conversations going way too long.
  30. Their secrets will come out in poetry.
  31. It takes forever for them to have an opinion, because they can see everyone’s side.
  32. They speak in rhyme all the time.
  33. They talk to everyone, which means going anywhere, including the grocery store, takes forever.
  34. They concede fox news makes great cases for hating absolutely everyone, but maybe that should not be the goal.
  35. They do not understand the attraction of mobs.
  36. They do not understand the global threat of Dandelions and why they must be eradicated with toxic chemicals.
  37. They believe the toilet paper roll should roll out towards the back, so cats can not unroll them.
  38. They wear flip flops in the rain, because it’s the best!
  39. They think espresso machines and tiny cups are magic, because they are.
  40. There will be cats.
  41. There will be road trips.
  42. There will be prancercise.
  43. They have their own spirit animal.
  44. They have their own nemesis.
  45. They speak sparrow.
  46. There will be hats.
  47. There will be watches.
  48. There will be full engagement in the here and now.
  49. They search for truth like it is the only real magic in the world, because it is.
  50.  And they have ghosts only poetry can save them from.

There will good and bad and everything there will be. That is what it is. So you have been warned!

One thought on “50 Reasons Not To Marry A Poet (an update)

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